Sunday, July 29, 2012

Time does not heal all wounds.

So I'm going to be a little bit personal in this post and tell you more about myself in a way. I did make a journal page and if you want to see it, you can scroll down through all my personal stuff.

Three days ago, there was a car crash involving 3 cars in a neighboring town of mine. I woke up the next morning and found that one of my best friends texting me that her cousin got killed in a car crash. Then I logged into my Facebook to see an article posted by another friend with more about it. It turns out that it was a friend of mine that I've known since 6th grade, her little sister was in the same car as my best friend's cousin. He died at the hospital and she died on the scene. I'm still in complete shock as to this happening.

This isn't the first time that death has happened in my life. In January of 2009, I lost a friend of mine named Phil in a car accident on my mom's birthday. This put my life into a little bit of a spiral. This was the first time that I had personally known someone who had died. I was 18 when it happened. Then in March of 2009, my band director (who had retired in June of 2008) died of a heart attack. This added onto my already spiraled life and a month later, I lost another person I knew. The third person wasn't a best friend, close friend or anything of the sort. But he was a great guy. My friends didn't know what to do or say to me even though we were in the same situation. I take things to heart and I still cry about them all the time. Whenever it rains it makes me think of Phil (I also do not like driving in the rain. Nor do I like driving period. I never have) and music in general makes me think of my band director.

So to have Lane (who I never knew. But it's my best friend's family) and Meredith (who I did know for a long time) and her family be in this situation. I cannot even put into words how I feel right now. It brings back so many emotions and puts me into a state of...I don't know what to call it really. Sedated? Numb even? I wish that they weren't taken from my life so soon and death will always be my #1 fear and I know that if you have lost anyone close to you, you know that the phrase "Time heals all wounds" is completely and utter horse crap. It doesn't heal anything. It just gives you time to reflect and realize that they aren't there anymore.

Out of this situation and this phrase, I have created this page.

This is in my art journal, I put down canvas that I bought from a garage sale in a roll and glued it down, painted the background, made the clock out of plastic paper I did yesterday and the lines you see outlining the page and the squares around the clock are made using glass paint I bought from Michael's the other day for 79 cents. I laid down the leaves I got from outside and blue spray painted over them and then I got out my stencils and did the words in the same spray paint. 

Thank you for reading the whole thing if you did and if you did not, I do not in any way hold it against you. This is a blog about me and this is who I am. You now know where my depression stems off of a bit and if you have every lost someone, you know what I'm talking about. 

1 comment:

  1. After having lost several close family members over the past few years, I agree with your conclusion.

    Hugs and prayers for the parents and grandparents of those who died. Parents should never have to bury their children...